Friday, December 28, 2012

Im safe Up high..... Right?


I am really into Pink's song Sober,  I guess at this moment in my life I comepletey understand the song... Like I feel like it was wrote for me, and It is not even a newer song... It is crazy how when different things in life happen to you different songs end up meaning a lot more to you then they did prioir.

CONFESSION for today::: I tend to push people away, all people, friends, family, crushes, guys, girls, co-workers... I have some abandonment issues, that I think occured when my parents went away when I was younger. So with these issues, I feel like I almost need to piss people off to the point there done with me, before they are just done with me on there own.. Crazy RIGHT? So yeah its like let me get them outta my way now before they decide to leave, and have me feeling some sort of way...

I say I am like a very loving person, and that I am but I do tend to try to get rid of people before they decide to get rid of me... And it is bad because I end up pushing away very important people in my life, and I have been trying to control it, and get it together. You know handle things differently , but even then I am still acting out, and once I realized I did it I have already pissed someone off.

Its hard because I am always saying there is no one there for me like I am there for everyone else... but no one is there for me because I keep pushing everyone the hell away!!!

So that is my confession for today I tend to push people away... some times i do it to see if anyone will fight to stay around, and some times i do it without really knowing I am doing it.... either way I need to cut it out... and stop pushing people out...

Everything happens for a reason so if people come and go so be it, I must of was to meet them for something, even if I do not know the reason at the moment.. Everyone comes into your life for some reason or another.. we just have to figure it out...


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