As I Welcome 2016 I reflect on What 2015 has taught Me!

2016 is approaching within hours, so I thought now would be a good time to reflect on 2015.
2015 was a very quick year, it was here, and now gone just like that! But I have grown so much this year it is crazy!!!! And in this blog post I am going to address different things I have learned, about me, about life, and what I want from what I wanted.... So much has changed I am literally no where near the person I was in 2014! And I am excited to share some of these things with you all! 

Okay so the learning quotes! great place to start! 

I some times felt like I knew enough to get by... Like some times I found myself becoming upset when someone tries to tell me something. I once heard the saying "You cannot teach a old dog new tricks" and in some cases that may be true! However I do not ever want that to be true for me! I do not ever want to think I know enough to get by! I want to know whatever I can learn! Learning is truly the power in today's world! So humble down and stop being Mr. or Miss. Know it all because truth is no one knows everything, and learning something new does not hurt it will only empower you! 

I also found the quote picture that says "You Don't Drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there." This means literally everything to me... Because I sometimes feel like once I make a mistake there is no going back, and that is where I drowned at... Just because one decision did not work out does not mean I or you cannot turn it around! I've been saying a lot lately we all have the same 24hrs in a day, like do what you have to do and get it together! There has been so many times where I just felt like giving up, and that the water was feeling my lungs and I was just going to drown.... but then that little voice inside of me said do NOT GIVE UP! this year has been so up and down for me! I am human so I will continue to make mistakes but I will never Drown!!!

Okay, Okay so 2015 has seriously taught me I am my worst enemy for sure. There were so many goals I set and let fall through because I became to over whelmed or got to discouraged or talked myself down to play in the safe zone! Like seriously I have been for about 6 months trying to organize my closet, and this is just a small petty project I am using as a example. But seriously I would always talk myself out of it, like oh I will not have enough sleep for work, or Oh I do not really want to let go of some of those clothes I have not wore in two years that still have price tags on them. Like this closet thing was just ridiculous and real at the same time. I learned just within that one project, that I am scared to let go of things, and that I will talk myself out of anything! And I do as I reevaluate a lot of goals I had set for 2015 I literally talked myself out of them! I had myself believing that my own goals, and dreams were unattainable because I was scared to try and fail! I feel like a lot of us do that! We are so scared that we are going to fail at something we do not even try! How would we ever really even know the outcome if we keep that up? I do that a lot and that is something I do not wish to bring into 2016 with me. I am my biggest critic and it is not all that bad but I have to alone myself room for mistakes! It is funny though because apart of me is like "yeah right bitch do you not think you made enough mistakes this far? you have no more room for mistakes!" That is what I hear every time I set a goal and chicken myself out of it! NO NO NO more of that! fuck it! I am going to set sail on a these goals, and if I humble along the way I will correct it and keep going! 2016 there will be mistakes! but I am not going to be afraid to even try!!! I am for real going to stop stopping myself from being great!!! 

I am currently working two jobs, one full-time, and the other is part-time. I am grinding for myself, for Baby Monroe, for my goals, and for my dreams! I have realized within 2015 I also settle for a lot of bullshit because it is easier... it is comfortable, and it is not hard! Yet I am not satisfied... I want that next level I want that push that is going to take me out my comfort zone, and make me appreciate everything even more. Now do not get me wrong I appreciate everyone I have,everything I have. I appreciate and am very humble for all I have gone through and to still be standing smiling ready for the next whorl wind is great! I'm just ready to jump out of comfort and explore my options! I am ready for a new adventure in a sense... I am ready to explore my mid-20's and live a little! I am going to get out of this box for 2016 and for myself. With learning that I am for real my own worst enemy and acknowledging it I think I will not be so scared to push myself to the next level of life and live! I just do not want to get older and regret never trying! 

So all together now, 2015 has taught me that I scare myself out of doing things that could benefit me or could just be life lessons, and that I need to live, laugh, and love more often! 2015 Has also taught me to become closer to Our God which has been a amazing journey within itself. 2015 has also taught me that I am 110% done with settling! I am not settling for anything else!!! like It is not worth it and I am young enough to correct it and I refuse to get to old to even care that I am settling anymore! NOOOOOO lol I have got to live for me and stop being so fearful to make mistakes! I have also learned that I do not technically need new friends, but everyone is put in my life for a reason so until God decides they have served their purpose I need to embrace everyone he chooses to have come across me! you never know where your blessings truly lay!

Anyhoo I hope you all have embraced the lessons 2015 has taught you, and I hope everyone is just excited to be Welcoming 2016 as I am! Please remember the only person you are in competition with is the person you were yesterday! Be great! stay great! and like always THANKS FOR READING!!!!!

Happy NEW YEARS EVERYONE BE SAFE!!! 

A Letter To My Sister

Tomorrow September 18th, 2015 my little sister will be 21 years young! So since I will be at work at midnight, and everyone will do all these cute things and posts I want to take my time out today to write a "Letter to My Sister"

Jade, 

I'm not going to lie, we get on each other's mother fucking nerves! But in all honesty I think we annoy each other so much because we are to much alike! You have been my sister for 21 years now tomorrow, and I could not have asked for a better sister! You are my best friennnnd, my rock and my soul! You are my strength when I am weak!! 

As sisters, we have seen some of each other's worst times, and we have seen some of each others best times, but time after time we have always had each others back, and pushed each other to try harder! 

There have been so many times when I felt hopeless and wanted to give up! So many times when I felt like I could not accomplish different things, and wanted to throw in my towel! Every time you were right there cheering me on helping me over every hump and difficulty! 

Whenever I want to do anything and do not want to do it alone I can always call on you and normally if its not petty or lame you will come with me... always if I am paying LOL 

I can not believe you are turning 21 I am so old now, and so happy! I just hope you being 21 does not get us into trouble, because if we didn't give a fuck before we surely are not going to give a fuck now! and the TURN UP IS ABOUT TO BE SO REAL! 

There have been times where I have not been the prefect sister, and there have been times where I have hurt your feelings, and your trust, there have been times I have compromised our relationship, and even then through out all my epic fails you still stand solid by my side... Not to say you have done some pretty shitty things to me too, but we are SISTERS FIRST we might not talk from time to time when we are mad, but we are still SISTERS! What is understood does not need to be explained! 

Jade you are one of the strongest women I know, you hit challenges head on and you will take prisoners if you have too LOL! Some times you feel like your not enough or that you are not doing enough! But baby I am here to tell you, you are only 21 you do not have to have your whole life figured out right at this moment! It is the time for you to live and learn, make  mistakes, laugh about them and move on! Do not let small things bring you down! And please do not turn in to a alcoholic either! 

We are about to have plenty drunken bar nights, and live like there is no tomorrow! Life is not short, its just when we realize it is to late we wish for more time. I do not ever want you to have to wish for more time, nor do I ever want to wish for more time... when it is my time, I want you to be able to say YES we lived YES we loved and YES we had fun...

YOUR THE BEST LITTLE SISTER A GIRL CAN ASK FOR AND WHILE ILL PROLLY BE AT WORK CRYING AT MIDNIGHT YOU WILL BE BUYING YOUR FIRST DRINK! I love you to the moon and back DOLL! Your my besssttttt frriiieeennnnnnddddd go BEST FRIEND THATS MY BEST FRIEND!!!! 

Thank you Jade for being the most perfect imperfect patient, and impatient sister a girl could ask for! I really cannot wait to CELEBRATE YOUR DAY WITH YOU TOMORROW!!!! ANd turn up! your the best and you know it! I love you to the moon and back, forever and always!!!!!!!

September!! 06Sep2015

Wow... September already?!?!?

     Where has this year gone? I swear I could not wait until I turned 18, I just knew to be a adult was going to be so much fun! I also feel like it took eternity for me to turn 18, but since that birthday time has just been flying by! We do not realize how many things we do not have to worry about prior to being 18, like we only had to worry about going to school and receiving good grades. Of course there was the worry about does that cute boy at school like me, or who was hooking up with who, again those things are nothing compared to the adult worries. 
        School does not prepare us for the consist competition in the world, nor do they prepare us with the proper budgeting tools we need as young workers coming into the world. Even though most high schools expect the kids to then go to college, I have yet to gain real life tools from college. It is just so crazy to me that we should have to spend so much time in school to prepare us for the real world, yet feel so confused becoming apart of the real world. 

AnYHOO there are a few things I guess I will talk about... You all know my blog would not be mine if my mind was not running every where. 

Okay, so I have figured out a budget that has yet to fail me, I also stated in one of my last two blogs that I was going to use my planner more often! So with those two together things have been working out perfectly! So I wanted to share with you all how I do my bill budget and hopefully the budget will help you create one of your own or you can even take on mine because its truly simple. I am going to to just through out numbers, these are not my exact bill amounts it is just an example of how I do things. 

So first off I write all my bills down rent, electric, gas, cable, cellphone, water, car note, insurance etc. and next to each bill I write how much it is... Things like rent, car notes, insurance, cellphones and cable normally stay they same each month with a maybe 10 fluctuation and that is only if your buying movies on your cable bill or apps on your phone. For the most part those do not normally change, well mine do not anyways. Point being you do not have to over estimate certain bills in which you know will not change. Now the bills like water, electric, gas those bills do always change depending on your usage or one could be on a budget plan to where the bill does indeed stay the same. Either way the bills that fluctuate need to be over estimated, for example my central air is ran through my electric, so I over estimated that bill to $250.00. I just hate being hot! Now there was a month or two where the bill was a little over that estimate, which was fine because a hand full of my bills are over estimated so it still worked out. Like if I has my gas bill that normally runs maybe $100.00 at its highest over estimated to run $200.00 that is $100.00 dollars more then I need which since I had my electric bill run over my estimate a couple of times I did not have to worry about it because I already had set aside the money for the gas bill just in case it ran over, which now I can use for my electric bill. 

So moving forward, after you write down all your bills the actual price they normally run, and you figure out how much over you want to estimate them then you add them up all together (OVER ESTIMATING IS DEFIANTLY THE BEST OPTION). Now that the bills are all added together lets say your total monthly bill payout is $1500.00 you want to divide that by the amount of checks you get each month so if you get paid weekly divide it by four, if you get paid bi-weekly divide it by two. SO $1500.00 divided by four is $375.00 and divided by two is $750.00. So each week you get paid you would put $375.00 in a bill pay account ( a bill pay account could be just an extra checking account you open up within your bank, that you only use to put bill money in and to pay bills with). 

I know you all are like but Arie I cannot put $375.00 a week up, This is where I hate to say it but must, if your carrying bills from the prior month into the next month then you maybe living outside of your means and need to reconsider your bills, where you live etc. 

A lot of people live with boyfriends/girlfriends or even have room mates, and if that is the case and your monthly bills run $1500 you divide that with how many people are living in your house. You all might not pay your bills at the same time but it still is a great way to get into habit of what you have to put up every month. 

Now my actual number is $250.00, so $250.00 a week which starting the 18th will go up lol goes into my bill pay account for my half of the bills. Since I am moving to biweekly checks I will have to do $500.00 every two weeks. So I know at the very least my main bills are handled. now extra stuff like gas for the week etc I have to budget out with the remaining of my check...which I do I set myself from $150.00 dollars a week budget down to $60.00 dollars a week budget... it took me a WHILLLEEEEE to find a budget that I could actually work with and stick to. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS  ABOUT THIS BUDGET OR WANT HELP SETTING YOUR OWN I CAN TOTALLY HELP! just message me or email me or comment below, and we can exchange emails etc! 

Moving on to my next subject!!! = GETTING HIRED IN!!

I moved back to Michigan around 2009, and yes I have had a few permanent retail, and even factory jobs I just for the life of me could never get hired in anywhere if I went through a temp service. I blew a few really awesome opportunities because of my attendance or my mouth! There has yet to been a job I have worked were I did not catch on and learn the procedure fast! Every company would say "We really wanted to hire you, but your attendance is awful! Your a great worker when your here, always happy and positive but we need you to be here!" Which do not get me wrong I would not just miss tons of days, but I would miss more then I should in my first 90 days! So I started another temp service job in May and I really liked it (But I mean I have really liked other jobs too) so I was skeptical if I was going to make it or not! Because this place did not play about attendance! I mean you got a .25 if you forgot to punch in or punch out, 1 point if you missed a day and you were only allowed to get basically 2.75 points because once you hit 3 points you were fired.  So I missed two days, which gave me 2 points, then I forgot to punch out one day which gave me 2.25 points. The I was 15 mins late one day because I over slept which gave me 2.50 points and with two weeks left of my 90 days I switched cars, and left my badge in the other car which gave me 2.75 points. AT THAT MOMENT I WAS FREAKING OUT!!!! I really really liked the job, its close enough to my house that I do not really have to worry about a long drive for winter, like it was a very stressful two weeks! bUTTTTTTTTT I MADE IT!!!!!! I made it to my 90 days without getting anymore points!!! I literally am so proud of myself like for me that is a very big accomplishment!!!! So I had my 90 day review on the Thursday before my birthday, then I requested to have that Friday, and Sunday night off because my birthday was Monday, and I wanted to go see my doggy (which is a whole other story)! Monday night I came back to work but I was so sick I felt like I was dying I mean when I say i took every kind of cold medicine and nothing was working I took every kind of cold medicine and nothing was working! So when I got to work I felt extremely weak, and could barely breath, I was clammy and cold, so I asked could I leave to go to the hospital, I went and was told I had bronchitis, and a cold and that I needed the next night off as well. I went back to work Wednesday night and Thursday Morning, I was offered the position at my job! I was beyond excited! I still am very excited, and proud of myself I have come along way!!!!!!!!  Which the hard work does not stop now that I am employee! I still have to keep at everything I do because employee or temp your butt is still replaceable! (However you may fill my spot with another person but there is no one like me in this world!) lol 

Baby Monroe <3 <3 <3

Okay, so where I live says your not supposed to have pitt bulls, rott wielers, etc etc. I have been here for over a year with Baby, and no one has ever said anything! Plus I do not just advertise her anyways besides on social media etc, I normally leave with her if we are going to play outside which also has to be limited because she has a grass allergy. My neighbors on the left of me have a pitt bull so they were not going to say anything and my neighbors on the right of me threw crazy parties all the time so we just had an unspoken thing like I will not bitch about your parties in return you see no dog. LOL WELLLLLL the party neighbors moved out, and we got some weird ass neighbors now, and I kid you not within three weeks of the new neighbors being next door, I get a letter on my door saying I have to get rid of Baby... TTTTHHHEEEE FFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK YYOOOOUUUUU MMEEEEAAAANNNNNN!!!! lol I was feeling real hopeless at that point... everything seemed blank... like get rid of my dog? because At that exact moment I could not move... So I called my mother, and her boyfriend and plead my case, I actually though it would take a whole lot of convincing ( but at the same time I did not think it would take a lot of convincing because Baby is potty trained and I was still going to buy and supply everything she needed, I even was throwing out a keeping fee if necessary). And to my surprise, they agreed. Which again God has truly been on my side, because Baby Monroe is my baby she means the world plus some to me, and I could not imagine my life without her. So now she is Indiana with my mommy until I find a house that is okay with me having her, which actually has been a lot harder then I expected it to be. HOWEVER With GOD all things are possible, and I know he will see me through this as well so I am not as worried about it. 

The grind, is about to get real!!! I asked my mommy for a year, so since Baby has been gone I have been taking care of her financially, and paying on my debts, trying to get everything taken care of in this little time, once I become accustom to this bi-weekly pay, I am also going to start saving money to move! Because it would sooooo suck if I found the prefect spot and did not have the money upfront! I have to get my Baby back so the grind will continue to go hard for a while!!! As long as I can keep getting as many hours as I do at work I am cool, if they die down by any means then I will get a second job! Period FOR BABY I WILL!!! I WILL TAKE DOWN EMPIRES FOR HER!!! NOTHING OR NO ONE WILL STAND IN MY WAY OF HAVING MY LITTLE FURRY DAUGHTER!!!!! 

These last few months with her being gone has really been effecting me in the worst kind of way tho! But I will save that story for another blog!!!!!! Until then everyone! And Like Always!!! Thanks for reading!!!!

Remember if you have any questions about anything I write, or would be interested on my thoughts about a certain matter and would like me to post a blog about it JUST LET ME KNOW!!!  

So It is MID-JUNE ALREADY!?!?!

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So, it is mid-June already! 2015 is just flying by fast! 

This post like most of my posts will be a little bit of everywhere with my thoughts! I always say I am going to try and post at least once a month and it never actually happens...

BUT I think now I have come up with the perfect schedule to fit everything in!!! Since I have been working two jobs; one full time and on part time my life has been so crazy! lol 

Yet throughout this crazy I have planned on fitting the gym in almost daily, and doing a blog post at least once a month! I actually ever year buy a yearly planner to use, and every year I may use the planner for about half of the year and then do not pay it no mind. Unfortunately it is June so this is me using my planner half of the year... but I read some where that it only takes 30 days of routine consistent routine for that routine to become like second nature to a person. But I am not going to spill all my beans in the beginning of this post! So let's begin! 

As a lot of you know last December I lost one of the most important people to me... My Grandmother a.k.a Nana.

As a lot of you may not know I actually have issues with showing emotions, such as sadness, empathy,and sympathy. Yet I can be happy or mad real quick, however those other feelings I have issues dealing with. I also suffer from depression, and anxiety. So I do believe I have issues with being sad because I am scared it will lead me down a dark place. 

With all that being said, grieving for my nana has been a real challenge for me, here I am six months later and randomly finding myself in tears thinking about her. I thought as time goes on it will get easier, and I am sure it will...but for me it seems like as time goes on I am actually able to feel for my loss and grieve with tears... It has been hard and yet relieving all at once! I know Nana is still with all of us, and I know she is watching down on us from heaven... I took some time away from the world after she passed, I mean literally was in the house, didn't want to leave, was emotionally eating I actually went into depression after she passed. And it was rough for me because I did not understand what was happening to me and why I felt so low... and when I did realize it was my depression kicking my butt I had to try everything to pull myself out of it. 

THE HARDEST thing about dealing with anxiety and depression, is having to try and explain it to the people around you whom are not to familiar with what depression can really do to a person. It truly can be disabling, like hiding under a rock is all I wanted to do... But again I have issues showing those hurt feelings so for me when depression hits, I have to pretend everything is okay and act as normal as possible... and it is actually a lot harder then it sounds. I want to say from like late December to maybe April I felt like I was under water, I finally broke down and told someone closest to me what I was going through... and It was the best thing I could have done for me... he really helped pull me out of that funk. 

SO WHAT I WANT TO SAY IS DEPRESSION IS REAL ANXIETY IS REAL AND IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM IT PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU! IT DOES HELP A LOT!!! DO NOT LET IT TAKE YOU DOWN THAT UGLY ROAD!!! YOU CAN EVEN REACH OUT TO ME AND I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO HELP! I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE CORNERED BY DEPRESSION!!! Just please reach out to a friend or a family member do not let it consume you!

  

Okay a lot of those who know me well know that I am very family orientated! I always have been and always will be! Some times being so family orientated is my biggest down fall! I still have so much faith and hope for my siblings, and what hurts the most is when we do not all get along. Nana took all of us in when our parents went to prison to make sure we all stayed together, she taught us that at the end of the day we are all we got. Our mom also made it very important to us that we all stick together and be there for one another... but it does not seem like that is what we are doing... I mean do not get me wrong I can call or text any of my siblings (on my moms side) at almost any given time and speak with them... but the definition of family means something different to each of us now that we are older... we all used to be on the same page about what family is... now everyone has their own definition and meaning of family... The day I realized that I honestly cried... my siblings are everything to me and I mean EVERYTHING... But I guess the older we become the different we become.. and our views, and morals start to change... and I have learned to accept that... I want nothing but the best for everyone! I want all of them to be happy and healthy and as long as they are only a phone call/text away and are happy and healthy I can live with that. Letting go is hard...

Earlier I mentioned how depression had me down and out for a little while, and I also mentioned having a planner that I was going to start putting to use in full effect! I have started writing in everything going on in my planner! Which for me has been extremely exciting, I am not sure if you all ever heard that it is better to write down goals, because once it is written it normally gets done? Or the saying is something along those lines lol! I truly agree with that, I feel like once I write stuff down, I am obligated to accomplish or do whatever it is I wrote down, and with it being written in my planner I have to see it for the whole month that I am in it has helped a lot. 

But since I was down and out for a few months I have a few things I have to take care of financially this month and get everything back right... then starting July I have the gym worked in, and my day to make a new blog post worked in!! and I'm praying that within 30days I can build a great routine, and keep everything running and working smoothly! I have to be my own motivation... Crazy to say it took me a long while to figure that out... I always have looked for others to motivate me in some way or another, and once that was gone I was kinda lost.... HOWEVER I have found the light... and I am hoping that I will be able to keep my light on and keep myself motivated.... At the end of the day no one can take better care of you THEN YOU!!!! 

Well that is the end of my post for today!! and like always THANKS FOR READING!!!!! 

February // Black History Month // Coming Soon //

February, such a wonderful short month. Most first thoughts are Valentine's Day, and Black History month! Which is I guess the normal for the this month! 

First and foremost I want to thank everyone who takes the time out of there day to read my blog!!! It means so much to me, you all are appreciated!!

Now on to Valentine's Day... Today which is 02/14/2015 I did a bunch of nothing! Mostly because my Valentine plans were yesterday in which I went to see Fifty Shades of Grey, and had dinner with my love. We will get in to Fifty Shades of Grey here in a moment, But I want to discuss Valentines day a bit more. I watched my facebook, and twitter closely today to see everyone post, to view every one's little babies all dolled up etc. I could not help but realize that Valentine's day has become yet another competition, who gets the most stuff who got what etc etc. To the point where even I was like "damn I was cheated mfs out here getting shoes and shit I just went to dinner and a movie." I had to stop and snap back into reality! I have never EVER been materialistic, not with my money or the next ones money... MONEY NOR THINGS can buy happiness, if your not happy your not happy and you can buy all the things in the world and you still will not be happy. 

Valentine's Day used to resemble romance, and love, and now it seems to just be another 'MY GIFTS/boy/girl/friend is better then yours or deal. 

SO I stand firm when I say I am happy to have exchanged beautiful card with my love and have a lovely outing! Because we however do not only show our love on one day but yet all year long!! 

I did enjoy seeing every one's children, the couples pics, and gifts today tho! It is nice to see love does still exist!   

 Black History Month!!! Man oh Man!! A little inside joke, I was always told I had to choose either the beginning or the end of February to celebrate, because I am only half black so I only get half the month lol!!!! It always made me laugh!!! 

      But on a more serious level... it sickens me to know that so many people gave there life's fighting for our rights to be free, to have equal rights to be considered humans at the very least...and to watch the hatred we all have towards one another etc. It makes me just really question why?! Like If Martin Luther King Jr. was here today he would honestly be pissed... There is so much rivalry being held against our own people. Like why are we not lifting each other up, rather then knocking each other down to get ahead? Racism is not something someone is born with it is taught on both sides!!!
        How can one say that white men have the power card etc, and yet in the same sentence one is teaching the younger youth to not like white people... AS LONG AS WE ARE KILLING EACH OTHER OFF WE STAND DIVIDED!!!! Like for real we need to STAND UNITED be strong for each other, and help each other out more... The consist competition etc is dumb you all look dumb like get it together we need to be together, and strong!!! Lets make a difference!!! Lets make MLK Jr. proud! Each change starts within us first though!!!

OMG OMG OMG, so I am not sure of how many people really know how I have always had a interest in ASL= American Sign Language! But I have always been very interested in it just never really acted on it. What drawn me further into ASL was I worked at a factory, and I met a women there who was Deaf, and I loved her she was kind, and patient... But I felt like the supervisors did not take the time needed during our huddles so that she could read their lips and know what was going on it made me feel some sort of way. Like she was just dis-guarded. So slowly but surely I taught my self the ASL alphabet and a few words I knew we used often at work, so I could help fill her in... We talked much! She gave me different sites, and books to go to to learn more ASL it was beautiful!! Secondly I'm a big ABC FAMILY NERD lol and ABC Family has a show called Switched At Birth, which one of the main characters is also deaf and there is alot of signing going on in the show so it also helps me learn different words etc...

ANYHOO I have been thinking long and hard about what is a job I would love to go to every day!! Like what do I love doing?!? Because Lord knows I find it hard to commit to things lol. Then it hit me I love signing like I love it so much, and I also LOVE helping people so what would be better then to become a Certified Interpreter!!   I looked into it and sure enough I start classes on Wednesday! And I am honestly so excited and nervous all at once!!!

However I have no doubt that this is not the road I should be taking and I am beyond blessed, and excited to start this new chapter!!! 

Okay before I end this little segment, I must discuss Fifty Shades of Grey!!! I have heard about the book forever it seems like, but never read it... I bought the whole series a few weeks back with my sister, and still I went to see the movie before I read the book... MANNNNNN that movie was everything! had me holding out my wrist ready to be taken to The Red Room of Pain lol... I am half way through the first book, and its GOOD so I suggest it to be a MUST READ SEE ETC... like I am sure no one will dislike this book... or MOVIE so if you haven already and you are looking for a good read FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!!! DO IT!!!! You will love it!!!

Now back to my coming soon!!! I am still doing research on the "Why people hate White women with Black Men" Blog I assure you it is almost finished and will be coming soon! I also have several other ideas for blogs. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY I would like to hear from the readers!!! What topics would you all like me to Discuss or write about!?? I have no issue bring out what is on demand!!! so hit my inbox let me know if there is any topics you all would like me to write about and I will!!! I keep my BLOG 100% I do not lie or what not, I say how I feel exactly!!! it is all me!! so Let me know lets make some stuff happen!!!! 

Until then here is a short list of upcoming topics you all should stay tuned!!

1. Why People hate White Women With Black Men

2. How Many is To Many? // Sexual

3. Sideline Chicks // Men 

4. Animal Food Bank Fundraiser!

5.Randomness LOTS OF RANDOMNESS

lol anyhoo thanks again everyone for reading!!! 

I SUCK AT THIS!!!

Okay, so every year I say I am going to post more on my blog! I have come to realize that I really suck at this!!! I'll post consistently for a little while, then BOOM nothing for months on end! its just I have so much to say, but then I have nothing at all to say! I guess I have to be for real when I say I am going to start being super open and honest with my blogs!

So you ask what is new in the neighborhood? SOOOOOOO much has happened and not so much has happened. First things first... I lost the love of my life my Nana 

Nana.... my Nana, she took us in when both my mother and father went to prison. And she did not have to! She could of let us go off to foster homes, but for her we stayed together as one family! Nana taught us what family meant, and she held us all together for so long! Like my cousin Mari said no matter what we did Nana was always so proud of us! She is greatly missed! It all happened so fast, I think i have still yet to fully process the fact that she is even gone!!! Almost a week after she passed, my mom had to do the unthinkable, and put to sleep my Nana's cat for he was deathly ill, and was suffering. It was very hard to lose the last little piece of Nana we all had left. But with me having Baby Monroe (my dog) I knew Skooter (Nana's cat) would not want to live much longer without is love my Nana. 

I have not been to fond of the new year new me spills, I honestly believe everyday is a new day for new beginnings! With that being said, Nana and my last real conversation was about how she loved my writing and I quote "I need to stop bullshitting, to finish and get a book published". See my issue has never been writing, my issue has been to finish one book! I also come up with these awesome story lines, and characters I get so far in my writing and I get stuck. But like I said prior Nana no matter what was always proud of us! This is something I want to and need to get serious about! Some times I just need that little push of motivation and support to get things done. I honestly think that I will be able to conquer this finishing a book issue now!!!! 

I was thinking long and hard about it, What person doesn't love a twisted love story?! I feel like we all fall victim to the happily ever afters and love stories!!! And believe me when I say I do believe I have just the one! The one story to tell and it just become a really huge hit!!! I am excited, and discouraged all at the same time!!! 

Just want to be right this year, with myself with my feelings, and most importantly and first of the list with God! I want to have a very humble year!!! 

Okay I think I spoke enough about stuff for this FIRST 2015 post!!! I am going to set reminders in my phone, so I can keep up with this!! But Im sure there will be some stuff you all will not agree with... LIKE IM DEF GONNA TACKLE THE HATE FOR BIRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS REAL SOON!! SO all of yall still mad about white women being with black men! yall are about to be more MAD!!!! 

Like Always Thanks for reading