Looking for Mr. OR Mrs Right???

I have heard people almost all my life saying "I'm Looking for Mr. Right Or Mrs Right!" 

Really? God is going to send you this right person? and you waiting on that? 

Yeah I believe God will send you people... but I do not think he is focused on finding you the right person! as if he does not have bigger Fish to fry! 

I believe everyone you cross paths with there is a reason behind it. I believe that everyone you meet or has come and gone within your life all has meaning and reasons to it. Even with horrible situations, I am sure we have all learned things from bad situations! SUCKS we had to go through some tough things in life just to learn a lesson! but we have to go through what we have to go through to be whom we were meant to be!

Back on topic! StOP fucking saying your waiting on Mr. or Mrs Right! when your out here fucking any and everyone!!! If Mr. OR Mrs. Right does come along why would they want to be with some one whom has a rep of being degrading, or cheating, or lying? Mr. Or Mrs Right will not want to be with someone like that! So if your seriously out here waiting on the OH SO PREFECT person, then fucking act like it! It is really not that hard! 

You waiting for Mrs. Right, but you in the club got girls fighting over you and shit? Yeah Mrs. Right walked RIGHT past your ass! Women do not like drama! not in that matter anyways. ( Because LowKey I think all women like drama to an extent :) ) 

And women you looking for Mr. Right but you out here acting a whole ass every where you go? Mr. Right ran the hell away!!!! 

And for everyone who is looking for Mr. And Mrs Right How do you all know you haven't already met them, as in you met them and messed it up? or they are currently sitting right in your face and your too blind to notice it?

How do yall know??? I really need to know? I need to know How do you KNOW that it is Mr. or Mrs. RIght? WHAT ABOUT THAT PERSON is going to be different from the last person you were in love or lust with???

PLEASE ELABORATE!!!! 

I am not looking for anyone! I currently need to find my DAMN SELF and get myself together!!!

I seriously do... I do not use the terms Mr. or Mrs. Right because that is just stupid! some times you fall in love with people you would never in a millon years see your self dating, or someone you have known all your life!!!

LOVE has NO FACE! i think people forget that!!! its the heart!!! IF YOUR OUT HERE LUSTING, and calling it love your stupid! 

PERIOD! 

I feel like if a lot more people focused on THEMSELVES and finding themselves first! then all your relationships no matter who it is with will be a lot better. You must KNOW and LOVE yourself before you can go looking, and trying to love someone else!!!

Seriously America Lets get it together!!!!  

Women Can Play Too?!

I have been thinking about this for a while now.... A lot more now that I have been single... I am always so worried about how men view me... Like I never want a man to EVER consider  me out to be some sort or whore, slut, hoe, whatever! because at the end of the day! I am not, and I know I am not... 

But It still bothers me that to this day when men can do stuff and be considered BOSS'S but if a women does it she is a whore! 

Example:: If a guy sleeps with a chick, and her sister, cousin etc, he is a player! He got so much game blah blah blah BULLSHIT!!! 

BUT if a female does that same shit, she is a homie hopping whore!!!!

And why is is okay for a guy to have sex with a girl, and put on his clothes, and leave after sex... But if a girl does it she is basically a hoe too! 

WHAT THE FUCK so women cant wanna leave after sex? If your on a just sex bases, why confuse the matter with cuddling? Or staying afterwards>? I do not understand this once so ever!!!

And I am sick of it! Women have hormones just as well as men do! and it is a fact that WOMEN NORMALLY HAVE WAY MORE SEX PARTNERS THEN MEN DO IN A LIFE TIME!!! Wanna know why? Because women DO NOT ADVERTISE there business.... And EVEN IF WE DID we are considered WHORES ANYWAYS!!!

I just feel like men want to call us out of our names, but be the same ones begging to fuck us! For us to do them sexual favors etc... And even when we do turn them down... WERE STILL WHORES!!!!

MEN get your shit together, if ya'll were actually PLEASING women the correct way, maybe we would not have to go through so many sexual partners to get PLEASED!!!! 

I am just speaking in GENERAL!!! like seriously We as women should all go BUY TOYS and go the FUCK ON STRICT!!! if ya dude isnt putting it down right! STOP GIVING IT TO HIM!!! why are we as women always being MEN PLEASERS??? Its 2013 and Ill be damned if I keep tryna please folks whom are not pleasing me!! and that is in general!!! 

So to all the MEN who think were WHORE because we like to be SEXUALLY Satisfied THE PICTURE BELOW IS FOR YOU!!!!! 

2013 I am on one!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! *Late Sorry!

Sooo it is the 6th of January, and I know I am late posting my blogs!!! I should have posted one on the first! I was going to be drunk and write on New Years Eve!!! But I ended up going to South Bend and going out with my Best Friend Tia, and my sister Julisa! We had the best time ever!!! I was so drunk! It was really good! 

I am glad for 2013!!! we are HERE a new year! New goals! NEW THINGS TO DO!!!!! My baby princess sister will graduate from high school this year! and I cannot wait! I am so excited for her to start college, and go on to bigger, and better things. 

I have slight goals, I am not trying to overwhelm myself with anything this year or make any New Year Resolutions, because I never stick to those. I just have a list of things that I know I need to get done, and I know the time frame of the things I need to get done... SO for now I am just being humble, and getting through what I need to get through to move on to better things!!!

Now for the details on the SINGLE LIFE!!! haha it has been going good. I have noticed however that I seem to be into men whom are emotionally unavailable, Like even if a guy approaches me it is like they know that I am into that type of men! Which sucks for me because that is sad... WHY would I be so into guys whom are emotionally unavailable? And Honesty I do not want a relationship right now, I am not looking for one either. BUT let me find a dude who is emotionally unavailable and I'm all down there neck like i want to jump into a relationship!!! It is soooo crazy! because I do not want that at all!!!

But I have noticed I am in like with a few situations, and I really need to focus on me and what I have going on... I feel like I have been to caught up in this single atmosphere, and it is cool, and it is fun.... BUT I have bigger fish to fry then worried about this boy and that boy.... And that is TRUTH!!! so I am gonna let it be known now... and this goes for everyone!!! If y'all don't hear from me as often as your used to it is because I am re focusing on what is important!!! Like SCHOOL and WORK and FAMILY... that is what matters to me at this moment, and until I an finally back where I need to be in life I do not need to be focusing on anything else. 

I am literally starting over! With everything!!! and it is going to be rough, and I will probably get stressed! but I need the fresh start! I deserve that much for me and mine! So bring on the challenge LIFE! I am ready!!!!I am excited! and I know this year it is going to be the BEST STRUGGLE EVER!!! If I have never been more appreciative of the things I have or the people in my life! I think THIS YEAR WILL DEF make me show more appreciation! because its going down! and I am ready! SOOOOOOO READY! I love this, I love me! and I know with the support of my siblings we will be back on top in no time! and I am not letting nothing or no one stand in my way!!! 

Have Faith Have Fight, Because If you don't have faith you wont have the strength to fight!!!

Im safe Up high..... Right?

I am really into Pink's song Sober,  I guess at this moment in my life I comepletey understand the song... Like I feel like it was wrote for me, and It is not even a newer song... It is crazy how when different things in life happen to you different songs end up meaning a lot more to you then they did prioir.

CONFESSION for today::: I tend to push people away, all people, friends, family, crushes, guys, girls, co-workers... I have some abandonment issues, that I think occured when my parents went away when I was younger. So with these issues, I feel like I almost need to piss people off to the point there done with me, before they are just done with me on there own.. Crazy RIGHT? So yeah its like let me get them outta my way now before they decide to leave, and have me feeling some sort of way...

I say I am like a very loving person, and that I am but I do tend to try to get rid of people before they decide to get rid of me... And it is bad because I end up pushing away very important people in my life, and I have been trying to control it, and get it together. You know handle things differently , but even then I am still acting out, and once I realized I did it I have already pissed someone off.

Its hard because I am always saying there is no one there for me like I am there for everyone else... but no one is there for me because I keep pushing everyone the hell away!!!

So that is my confession for today I tend to push people away... some times i do it to see if anyone will fight to stay around, and some times i do it without really knowing I am doing it.... either way I need to cut it out... and stop pushing people out...

Everything happens for a reason so if people come and go so be it, I must of was to meet them for something, even if I do not know the reason at the moment.. Everyone comes into your life for some reason or another.. we just have to figure it out...

December is Like OVER?!?!?!

So today is December 28, 2012 and we are all still here! #soMuch4TheWorldEnding right? It is crazy how every year the world is to end, people are nuts! and Frankly I do not want to know about it! I rather it just happen.... I think, I just don't want to be horrified up until it happens. I rather be happy and calm, and then die... I do not really know... so we will be moving right along...

Soooooo I have been single! and I have really been enjoying myself! Like I do not really have to answer to no one, I have been going out, and doing things I want to do without feeling bad about it... I have been acting 22 for once in my life I can act my own age!!! Sort of, but still it has been soooo nice!!!

I however tend to put all my eggs in one basket, even being single, I have noticed I try to build up around one certain guy! Like do not get me wrong I have several guy friends, but still all my eggs seem to be in this one guys basket... and I really do not like it... Like he is Single to, and I swear it is something about him, that takes me there... Like I just do not know how to act some times when it comes to him... But I am not about drama, and bullshit so I have just been kinda I guess staying to myself more. I am trying anyways... I feel like I am too emotionally available for everyone!!! and I need to not be so open to everyone... and Make people be more open for me.

I have been struggling with things lately... like my emotions have been a bit every where... and I have just been trying to keep focus, and ensure myself that within a few months everything will be back good, and everyone will be good... Its hard to go from the being the girl that damn near had everything... so basically starting over... It honestly was in the best interest for me and my family, and I do not regret the decision that I have made... it is just very hard for me to accept it. I just some times feel like I just wanna pack a bag and run away... but what does that really solve? NOTHING, so no point in doing that lol... It is just weird, I am in a very weird place right now... and I will be glad when it is over.

So December is like over, and January will be here in like 3 freaking days!!! I cannot believe how fast this year has gone! it has gone so fast! I am really shocked about it actually.... Time is flying and yet some of us are standing still... I have big plans for 2013.. Not really goals.. Because we all do that right? Make New year resolutions, and then do not stick to them... Yeah I just have plans to be a more better person in general than I was in 2012. Like I am a good person but we all have room for growth... and it doest hurt to take in that room and prosper as a person to better yourself and your loved ones. so that is just what I am looking for doing, becoming a better me...

I really think I have some great stuff to talk about, until I start writing, and realize I am really not talking about anything... LOL but this is my BLOG and you really do not have to read it! HOWEVER thank you for reading it :)  I hope everyone had a wonder Christmas, and Has a even better NEW YEAR!!!! 2013!!! Were about to be in there!!!!

P.s  think for New Years Eve, I am going to get WHITE GIRL WASTED and write a blog, Wonder how many of my secrets will come out within that!!! haha ! be on the look out!! SOOON it is gonna go down!!!

THE COUNT DOWN!!!!

So my awesome weekend is approaching! I am so excited the COUNT DOWN HAD BEGUN! Via: Facebook, and Twitter! There is THREE MORE DAYS until MY awesome sister turns 21!!! FOUR MORE DAYS until I go to South Bend! And FIVE MORE DAYS until we are in CHICAGO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 I am beyond excited! I need this break! These last few weeks have been nothing but crazy!!!! I need to get a Lawyer for this bogus ASS apartment complex I was living in! You would think after four years of doing business with a company they still don't give a damn about you as a person just about that money! and that is ridiculous! EVEN if all ends horribly and I do have to pay these people for a whole lease! in WHICH I AM NOT LIVING THERE! I swear, some shit is gonna pop off!

I should however just stay humble, I just don't like knowing after four years of doing business with them I am still at the end of the day only a check in the mail! Like companies now and days  have no morals once so ever! And it is honestly sad!

But I am not going to stress out about that now, I am going to talk to a few lawyers, and see what they can do for me IF ANYTHING, and take it from there! Because I refuse to go out without a fight!!!

Work has been going good! so far so good! I am keeping up with school, and still trying to take care of everything else!!!

Solange (my older sister) has come to stay with us, and she has been a great help as far as transportation, and helping me with Jade. It has been nice to have that kind of help! I actually can get some sort of sleep! Which is weird because I still do not get enough sleep! Like my body is used to not sleeping so I just wake u after like four or five hours, and then I cannot go back to sleep! THAT SUCKS!!!!

I have really just been focusing on me! I have been trying not to really go out of my way for anyone anymore, and not because I am selfish but it is now time to do me for me!

I have taken care of everyone for far to long! and I am taking the weight of the world off of my shoulders and only carrying the stuff I need to be carrying around!!!!

Like OMG my car!!! needs some work! alot of work actually! like 600 of shop work! then I need new tires that is like 400 dollars! sucks! but that is my baby! and I need her so I have to get her fixed, and make her all better!!!!

My uncle thinks I should trade her in, and get a newer car... But I love my dodge, and she isn that old... she is only a 2008  that's only almost 5 years old! my baby!!!

On top of everything I lost my cat, I made a few fliers, knocked on a few doors, and got no where! I hope he is safe, and hopefully someone took him in! he hates being cold, and we have had some cold nights so far since he has been gone!!!

Well that is all for now! I need to get me a lawyer! keep up with my count down to my weekend! and stay humble! me flipping shit isn't going to change anything! I need to be cool and stack this bread so I can knock down what I need to and save what I need to!

I am finding myself, and to me right now that is all that is important! I feel like everyone at some point gets lost on their journeys, and it is up to us to realize it, and find ourselves so that we can get back on track! and I am doing that for me!

Its Ariell's time to live!!!!

I'll Admit I am SCARED

I just ranted, and raved right?  But do y'all know why??? I am scared!!!!

I am scared, because I feel like the last four years of my life were wasted, and I have so much potential, and so much time gone! Now I have still all this potential, and it seems like not enough time!

 

I was in a relationship, that I honestly can say I gave my all, and I really feel like my all was taken advantage of! I made quick moves, that might not have been the best decision financially, but was the best decision for me and my family.

 

SO I do not regret moving and starting over, I was actually quite excited about that. But with that comes bills that still need to be paid, my car still needs to be fixed there is still a 100,000 things I need to take care of!

 

And for the first time I guess in my life I am starting alone... Like in the last four years I have lost myself some where, and I am trying to recover myself in all aspects. Emotionally, Financially, Spiritually, and Mentally. SO my mind is always spinning with a 100 thoughts processing at once. And my Judgement, and thoughts seem to becoming more cloudy! as if they were not cloudy already!

 

SO you want to know where does being SCARED come into play?????????

 

Everyday I wonder if I am really fighting for a cause for myself and will everything turn out right? Everyday I become more discouraged, and want to give up on  everything and go  hide somewhere alone....  Everyday it becomes harder, and harder for me to do the things I know I need to do!

 

So I a horrified that one day I am going to wake up and say fuck it all! that one day these fears, and anxiety of everything is going to kick my butt, and force me to believe that throwing in the towel is the best option.

 

I know I KNOW it is not even really an option! I have never ever been a quitter, and I do not plan to start now... But its just so much shit HAPPENING!!! I swear WHEN I FINISH MY BOOK, it will become a MOVIE....

 

My life is like a crazy ass movie NO LIE! and I just wonder when is the good part of the movie going to happen, Like you know when you watch crazy movies and then the end, ends on a good note?  LIKE WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GOOD NOTE?

 

LOL! I am trying to find something funny and ways to keep myself laughing, because all this is crazy, my life went from stressful, to HELL in 0 SECONDS!

 

Like I am beyond Happy that I have moved, and am starting over, I am just scared, and worried that I will fuck everything up! even if it is on accident, like I have  no no no room for mistakes right now! everything has to be counted, and accounted for! PERIOD!!!

 

SO starting over is the most scariest thing I think I have ever done so far, and I am sure that the fears of shit is only beginning so I am going to keep my faith, and focus! and not let these fears overcome me as a person!

 

Okay that was my confession for the week! I guess the moral of the story is, Life is good, bad, and sometimes scary! we just have to find it within ourselves to keep moving, and motivated to keep going, keep trying, and not giving up!

 

NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS! we MUST FIGHT FOR OURSELVES! because honestly no one else will.