Okay everyone... I know everyone is probably wondering why I have March as my title, and I am here to tell you all why. Coming March I am going to be on a strick agenda.. Which meaning no more sleeping in or staying up late for me. I have to budget my time, as too I am going to be working on me starting March.
I have been becoming way to lazy, I guess that is what happens when you work from home, which I can say is the only down fall. But anyhoo I have also found my self to be gaining weight, that I do not plan on keeping at all. So starting March It is going to be serious dieting, and work outs activities of that manner. My friend Meek, and I are going to be doing this together but we both stay very far away from each other to its going to be hard but to keep us on a positive note.
I am excited, I love working out I just havent been finding the time for it lately. I most like weight lifting it has always been my favorite, so Time to get back in to that manner, and get things going again. I have started a routine a few times but havent kept to it, and it is only my fault, so now I am going to make a reasonable schedule. and keep to it.
I am tired of always complaining about things i do and dont like, If I dont like it why not change it. So that is what I am going to do is change a few things I am unhappy with.. to make a new and improved Arie ! lol Cant wait.. I just got to keep the will power, and the excitement about it. But I am only i can change me so I gotta keep working on it ! wish me luck everyone !
Thanks for listening.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
New Relations !
New Relations ! is today's Blogg so to say.
I love meeting new people, and having a good time. I once thought as though I was to old to make new friends, and I also once thought I really did not need any friends. But i have figured out it is not about friends in general it is about having someone there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. The world is a tuff place some times, and some times we all need a little shoulder to lean on or a person we can confide in. We are also never to old to make new friends or to start new relationships.
However I am not looking for a new relationship, or am I really on a whole friend hunt. But the people that I do come across in life have all been of importance to me rather I have liked that person or not. I have learned things from everyone I have met and it has been only my honar to have met so many people, and have learned things from everyone.
I know a few people have in which been hurt by their so called friends, or best friends. in situations to where the frend might of did something deceitful, But at the end of the day we are all only humans whom all make the same mistakes. Sometimes we still have to forgive and forget. Some situations I know are not that easy to just walk away from, as in walking away and then befriend that friend who was once your friend. And in situations to where you can not find it in your heart to befriend that person again, is fine move on. But always forgive and forget.
Because at the end of the day the people who made us mad or hurt our feelings, there not walking around with anger or hurt in their hearts. THey are walking around as if they did nothing wrong. While we are carrying around all this stress, and pain for what? nothing.. let it go because while we are just sitting there letting someone else carry stress, and pain on our shoulders we are the ones losing out. not them...
But situations happen and we all learn to grow, and prosper from them. We have to be the bigger person to not allow one painful situation affect the rest of our lifes. Nothing is worth our happiness.
For relationships. Boy oh Boy.. I am going there... I have had some of the utmost craziest relationships with men. Rather it was a actual relationship or it was just some sort of booty call. I have presented myself in wrongful ways to the world, and I regret every moment of it. But I was younger than what I am now because I am still young. But I made a loe of mistakes, and had my heart broken a few times, also broke a few hearts as well.
Some one once asked me why? Why did I play with their emotions when they told me from the start they wanted such a great commitment. I honestly could not answer. This guy did tell me he puts in 100% to his relationships and he normally falls fast and hard. At the time i was like 17 I think, and they guy is a few years older than me. SO of course he wants something serious, and might not be in to all the games younger men play. But at 17 for one I did not know what I wanted, and for two I was just getting in to dating older men, because the men my age were not mature enough for me. Not because I was fast or anything in that manner, just for the reasons I had to grow up fast, and take on more responsibilities at such a young age. Anyhoo back to what I was saying. I thought he had tricks up his sleeve, I did not beleive all he was saying was true. I thought okay if he is this serious, and this willing to be commited why does he not already have a serious relationship? And why did he want to be with me, when I was still in High School? I questioned the whole situation. But I ended up being intimate with this fellow, and I played the upper hand in our encounterment, and then just walked away from the whole situation.
I asked myself, if I knew what I know now, and could go back and do it over again would I? knowing he was serious, and that I could possibly even still be with him to this day. And the answer is no I wouldn't change anything. Why? because from then and that situation I have learned a lot, I have learned a lot about myself, and learned that he is a genuwine person. Sure if I would have started a relationship with this fellow, and would have learned all the great things needed to know about him. Maybe we would of had a great relationship and maybe we wouldnt of. I do regret hurting his feelings along the way, but I am still growing now, and had way more growing to do when i was 17.
That guy and I still talk sometimes still to this day. He is an good person, our conversations are harmless. Our families have a lot of history around each other. So for the most part our conversations are catching up with each other and just being kind enough to say hello.
Okay before I talk you all to death I guess that is it for today.. More posts to come! Thanks for reading!
I love meeting new people, and having a good time. I once thought as though I was to old to make new friends, and I also once thought I really did not need any friends. But i have figured out it is not about friends in general it is about having someone there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. The world is a tuff place some times, and some times we all need a little shoulder to lean on or a person we can confide in. We are also never to old to make new friends or to start new relationships.
However I am not looking for a new relationship, or am I really on a whole friend hunt. But the people that I do come across in life have all been of importance to me rather I have liked that person or not. I have learned things from everyone I have met and it has been only my honar to have met so many people, and have learned things from everyone.
I know a few people have in which been hurt by their so called friends, or best friends. in situations to where the frend might of did something deceitful, But at the end of the day we are all only humans whom all make the same mistakes. Sometimes we still have to forgive and forget. Some situations I know are not that easy to just walk away from, as in walking away and then befriend that friend who was once your friend. And in situations to where you can not find it in your heart to befriend that person again, is fine move on. But always forgive and forget.
Because at the end of the day the people who made us mad or hurt our feelings, there not walking around with anger or hurt in their hearts. THey are walking around as if they did nothing wrong. While we are carrying around all this stress, and pain for what? nothing.. let it go because while we are just sitting there letting someone else carry stress, and pain on our shoulders we are the ones losing out. not them...
But situations happen and we all learn to grow, and prosper from them. We have to be the bigger person to not allow one painful situation affect the rest of our lifes. Nothing is worth our happiness.
For relationships. Boy oh Boy.. I am going there... I have had some of the utmost craziest relationships with men. Rather it was a actual relationship or it was just some sort of booty call. I have presented myself in wrongful ways to the world, and I regret every moment of it. But I was younger than what I am now because I am still young. But I made a loe of mistakes, and had my heart broken a few times, also broke a few hearts as well.
Some one once asked me why? Why did I play with their emotions when they told me from the start they wanted such a great commitment. I honestly could not answer. This guy did tell me he puts in 100% to his relationships and he normally falls fast and hard. At the time i was like 17 I think, and they guy is a few years older than me. SO of course he wants something serious, and might not be in to all the games younger men play. But at 17 for one I did not know what I wanted, and for two I was just getting in to dating older men, because the men my age were not mature enough for me. Not because I was fast or anything in that manner, just for the reasons I had to grow up fast, and take on more responsibilities at such a young age. Anyhoo back to what I was saying. I thought he had tricks up his sleeve, I did not beleive all he was saying was true. I thought okay if he is this serious, and this willing to be commited why does he not already have a serious relationship? And why did he want to be with me, when I was still in High School? I questioned the whole situation. But I ended up being intimate with this fellow, and I played the upper hand in our encounterment, and then just walked away from the whole situation.
I asked myself, if I knew what I know now, and could go back and do it over again would I? knowing he was serious, and that I could possibly even still be with him to this day. And the answer is no I wouldn't change anything. Why? because from then and that situation I have learned a lot, I have learned a lot about myself, and learned that he is a genuwine person. Sure if I would have started a relationship with this fellow, and would have learned all the great things needed to know about him. Maybe we would of had a great relationship and maybe we wouldnt of. I do regret hurting his feelings along the way, but I am still growing now, and had way more growing to do when i was 17.
That guy and I still talk sometimes still to this day. He is an good person, our conversations are harmless. Our families have a lot of history around each other. So for the most part our conversations are catching up with each other and just being kind enough to say hello.
Okay before I talk you all to death I guess that is it for today.. More posts to come! Thanks for reading!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
2011
Welcome to 2011 ! wow and Feburary is almost over. I have found myself to be a little less motivated than normal. I did however get my car! Its a 2008 dodge avenger. I am so excited about it. However I only really made two trips so far. one to chicago just to be going somewhere, and One to Benton Harbor to go to church. I think I should figure out my finances quick, and budget going to church with my sister, every sunday, which is an hour away. But her church speaks to me. Like when I go there I feel as if I belong, and that the pastor is always talking about me. Which is good because it makes me think about things I need to change and how I need to change them.
I feel like I am not satisfied with anything right now. Okay so I am 20 with no kids, live on my own, now own two cars, work full time, atten school (which I am almost done with) full time. I have a great relationship, with this most incrediable guy.. I mean we not perfect.. well he's not anyways. LMBO that was funny, naw we not perfect. But I feel like these are all things that I am supposed to be doing. Going to school, working, owning things paying bills. I did not come from a family that feeds me with no golden spoon, and Everyday I am thankful that I do know how to survive on my own without anyone just giving me stuff.
Oh and dont get me wrong thy love of my life helps me or does for me whenever need be. But as far as half of these kids my age whom parents still hand them everything, and they dont have to work for nothing, I am not one of those.
I just guess I want so much more right now at this moment, and everything I want is coming.. just not fast enough for me. So patients...patients.. good things always come to those whom wait. I am just so ready to be comfortable. I n a comfortable state, and I was but now its time for a change... So i am uncomfortable again.
But this year we will be moving, I refuse to sign another year lease at these apartments. These tiny apartments charging an arm and a leg for NOTHING, to where I can pay a few hundard more and have a whole entire house, and not have to worry about the people across the hall nor do I have to worry about back ground noise for my job due to the neighbors.
Im just ready for these houses to be homes. I am ready to make my office for work so that I do not hate my home because I work from home but yet only hate my office :) because that will be the section of which I work.
I was confiding in a old friend on Sunday about this, and she felt as though I was just being ungrateful. Although she did not say it like that but I felt in so many words that is what she meant. Which I guess it does seem as if I want it all. The way I see it though is why not want it all? I work hard and take care of all my resonsibilities plus some, and I am only 20. sometimes I just want to be 20 and that is it nothing more nothng less. I should be doing so much more than what I am doing. I feel because I am so young I should have a little more life. then again I feel like work hard now, so that I can play later.
Confusing huh? I know it is all just a big confusing mess, that I need to all figure out. I want to work mornings for my job but then who wants to get up in the AM. See it is all a mess that I need to figure out so i can better manage everything like it needs to be managed. that is all I have for now.. Later there will be more I swear.
Thanks for listening.
I feel like I am not satisfied with anything right now. Okay so I am 20 with no kids, live on my own, now own two cars, work full time, atten school (which I am almost done with) full time. I have a great relationship, with this most incrediable guy.. I mean we not perfect.. well he's not anyways. LMBO that was funny, naw we not perfect. But I feel like these are all things that I am supposed to be doing. Going to school, working, owning things paying bills. I did not come from a family that feeds me with no golden spoon, and Everyday I am thankful that I do know how to survive on my own without anyone just giving me stuff.
Oh and dont get me wrong thy love of my life helps me or does for me whenever need be. But as far as half of these kids my age whom parents still hand them everything, and they dont have to work for nothing, I am not one of those.
I just guess I want so much more right now at this moment, and everything I want is coming.. just not fast enough for me. So patients...patients.. good things always come to those whom wait. I am just so ready to be comfortable. I n a comfortable state, and I was but now its time for a change... So i am uncomfortable again.
But this year we will be moving, I refuse to sign another year lease at these apartments. These tiny apartments charging an arm and a leg for NOTHING, to where I can pay a few hundard more and have a whole entire house, and not have to worry about the people across the hall nor do I have to worry about back ground noise for my job due to the neighbors.
Im just ready for these houses to be homes. I am ready to make my office for work so that I do not hate my home because I work from home but yet only hate my office :) because that will be the section of which I work.
I was confiding in a old friend on Sunday about this, and she felt as though I was just being ungrateful. Although she did not say it like that but I felt in so many words that is what she meant. Which I guess it does seem as if I want it all. The way I see it though is why not want it all? I work hard and take care of all my resonsibilities plus some, and I am only 20. sometimes I just want to be 20 and that is it nothing more nothng less. I should be doing so much more than what I am doing. I feel because I am so young I should have a little more life. then again I feel like work hard now, so that I can play later.
Confusing huh? I know it is all just a big confusing mess, that I need to all figure out. I want to work mornings for my job but then who wants to get up in the AM. See it is all a mess that I need to figure out so i can better manage everything like it needs to be managed. that is all I have for now.. Later there will be more I swear.
Thanks for listening.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Almost 2011 ! ! ! ! !
First and foremost, I want to wish everyone a Late Merry Christmas, and hopes that everyones Christmas went well. And a Early New Years !
So it's been a little while since I have blogged, and no I havent forgotten about it, just been a little busy. But here are the updates..
Well I have been on Christmas break within school, and I have been LOVING IT ! With work I have been working overtime hours for xbox, and boy were we busy during Christmas, its still a Little busy because there asking us to come help out again. So I assume the Kinect was a great hit ! I honestly LOVE it I have had no problems with the Kinect at all, and its my new best friend !
On Christmas Eve, I took a trip to Indiana, to visit with family, and so that my Boyfriend can see his daughter, and that whole day was a mess the plans didnt go nothing like I thought they would and I was really disappointed with the results of that trip.... UNTIL.....
We got back home, My boyfriend proposed to me ! and he was so super sweet about it, and we have been having hard times, not financially or anything, just in general with our relationship, and I had really thought come Jan 1 we were going to be done. Which I was and was not fine with it....
I was fine if we seperated because I felt like its a New Year, and when one door closes another one opens, and not only that I was prepared to have some me time, and not focus on no more men for a while.
I was not okay with it because I love him dearly, and I wasnt ready for us to just be done with. We have been through so much together, and he is my best friend! I wasnt ready to lose everything we have built, and have had together, and nor was I not ready to be alone.. I love hime for him, his company his conversations etc.
Not to say he is perfect he has some imperfections.. a few actually ! But I feel as though our souls connect in some weird way, he knows me like the back of his hand, and I know him just as well. Its just some much time and effort we had put into us, I just wasnt okay with letting go. But at the same time I had felt like there is only so much you can do to try to make things right, and I ahd felt like for a while I was the only one trying.
Just a week piorior to Christmas, we had actually really been getting along, and we had some serious conversations about our relationship and what things both parties could do to make things better. and the plans we had came up with and how serious our conversation was, made my heart skip a beat.
I was relieved to know that he does care, and wants just as bad as me to make things work.. make this our last chance. and I was overwhelmed with joy, and I agreed to this being our last chance. Come Christmas Eve, he asked me to marry him, and had this long speech, about he wants to go to sleep, and awake to me everyday, and how he is nothing without me, and howmuch he loves me and knows I love him too, and that he wanted us to be forever and ever.
that was just a debrief of the conversation, it was sooooo much more to it than that, and I said YES ! I HONESTLY LOVE Him.. and I do not even want to picture my world without him in it.. I COULD DONT GET ME WRONG but I dont..
A friend of mine was not to thrilled about the situation, actually two of my friends, feel as though I am too young, and I am not making rational decisions with this, and I simply told them I love him.. and to me thats all that mattered.
One of my friends told me to at least give myself a two-year engagement, so that we as in me and my now Fiance can grow, and since we were so close to being done. it allows us to rekindle our love, and really work on our relationship.
HOWEVER, I had already told my Fiance, that I did not want to get married right away, that I wanted to wait at least a year, and a half because we are working on getting new cars, and moving in to a house, before this year is over.
Also my younger brother we are taking in for a while, while he does his first year in college, and such. I just have other things going on right now to where I dont want to worry about them, and trying to budget, and plan a wedding.. So its not that I was or I am listening to my friend in which told me to wait, I had already had the paln to wait anyways so whats another 6 more months?
I also think it would be financially better to wait too, I dont want to rush it, and have some lame wedding.. I want my wedding to be of my dreams. I want everything to be prefect, and go just how'd I always dreamed my wedding to be.
But as far as 2011... it's time for big things, and I am so prepared to rock this RING! and make big things happen for 2011 ! THanks for listening. !
So it's been a little while since I have blogged, and no I havent forgotten about it, just been a little busy. But here are the updates..
Well I have been on Christmas break within school, and I have been LOVING IT ! With work I have been working overtime hours for xbox, and boy were we busy during Christmas, its still a Little busy because there asking us to come help out again. So I assume the Kinect was a great hit ! I honestly LOVE it I have had no problems with the Kinect at all, and its my new best friend !
On Christmas Eve, I took a trip to Indiana, to visit with family, and so that my Boyfriend can see his daughter, and that whole day was a mess the plans didnt go nothing like I thought they would and I was really disappointed with the results of that trip.... UNTIL.....
We got back home, My boyfriend proposed to me ! and he was so super sweet about it, and we have been having hard times, not financially or anything, just in general with our relationship, and I had really thought come Jan 1 we were going to be done. Which I was and was not fine with it....
I was fine if we seperated because I felt like its a New Year, and when one door closes another one opens, and not only that I was prepared to have some me time, and not focus on no more men for a while.
I was not okay with it because I love him dearly, and I wasnt ready for us to just be done with. We have been through so much together, and he is my best friend! I wasnt ready to lose everything we have built, and have had together, and nor was I not ready to be alone.. I love hime for him, his company his conversations etc.
Not to say he is perfect he has some imperfections.. a few actually ! But I feel as though our souls connect in some weird way, he knows me like the back of his hand, and I know him just as well. Its just some much time and effort we had put into us, I just wasnt okay with letting go. But at the same time I had felt like there is only so much you can do to try to make things right, and I ahd felt like for a while I was the only one trying.
Just a week piorior to Christmas, we had actually really been getting along, and we had some serious conversations about our relationship and what things both parties could do to make things better. and the plans we had came up with and how serious our conversation was, made my heart skip a beat.
I was relieved to know that he does care, and wants just as bad as me to make things work.. make this our last chance. and I was overwhelmed with joy, and I agreed to this being our last chance. Come Christmas Eve, he asked me to marry him, and had this long speech, about he wants to go to sleep, and awake to me everyday, and how he is nothing without me, and howmuch he loves me and knows I love him too, and that he wanted us to be forever and ever.
that was just a debrief of the conversation, it was sooooo much more to it than that, and I said YES ! I HONESTLY LOVE Him.. and I do not even want to picture my world without him in it.. I COULD DONT GET ME WRONG but I dont..
A friend of mine was not to thrilled about the situation, actually two of my friends, feel as though I am too young, and I am not making rational decisions with this, and I simply told them I love him.. and to me thats all that mattered.
One of my friends told me to at least give myself a two-year engagement, so that we as in me and my now Fiance can grow, and since we were so close to being done. it allows us to rekindle our love, and really work on our relationship.
HOWEVER, I had already told my Fiance, that I did not want to get married right away, that I wanted to wait at least a year, and a half because we are working on getting new cars, and moving in to a house, before this year is over.
Also my younger brother we are taking in for a while, while he does his first year in college, and such. I just have other things going on right now to where I dont want to worry about them, and trying to budget, and plan a wedding.. So its not that I was or I am listening to my friend in which told me to wait, I had already had the paln to wait anyways so whats another 6 more months?
I also think it would be financially better to wait too, I dont want to rush it, and have some lame wedding.. I want my wedding to be of my dreams. I want everything to be prefect, and go just how'd I always dreamed my wedding to be.
But as far as 2011... it's time for big things, and I am so prepared to rock this RING! and make big things happen for 2011 ! THanks for listening. !
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Last few days...
So Sunday, i wen tand hung out with my brother ! &&& it was great ! I miss hanging out with him. I naturally moved closer to him to be able to see him more. but with both of us in school and both working our hours are soo different. So it was great to be able to go hang out with him. & we wrestled a bit, & he bit me.. now I have great bruises on my arm LMBO ! it was too funny he was totally cheating in checkers SMH ! Anyhoo TOday I had to go to this assited living class, and sign up to help those of whome need a little assitance in there home. which I thought was cool to be able to even assist someone with whatever there needs maybe. I am just so shor for time. I feel like I do not have time to do anything which sucks ! but it will all work out for me I know.
I just must stay focused, and keep my eyes on my goals, and I go this ! I am soo excited and ready for 2011 though its un real ! Speaking of which.. I should prolly change my address from my nana's old house since they moved just in case I still have anything going there.. not sure that I do.. but it never hurts to be safe ! I get off work in 29 mins, and I couldnt be more excited ! yeaha ! okay well that is enough for tonight ! later !
I just must stay focused, and keep my eyes on my goals, and I go this ! I am soo excited and ready for 2011 though its un real ! Speaking of which.. I should prolly change my address from my nana's old house since they moved just in case I still have anything going there.. not sure that I do.. but it never hurts to be safe ! I get off work in 29 mins, and I couldnt be more excited ! yeaha ! okay well that is enough for tonight ! later !
Monday, December 6, 2010
12/06/2010
So all last week I was working from 9am-1am, basically. & I have to say... this week I am tired, Of course I was off yesterday. But I went and spent time with my little brother, and my nana. And yesterday just went so fast. Now I am totally ready for it to be thursday, because I am off on thursdays, and we get paid fridays. !
I stayed up late last night talking to my bestie abotu different situations in life, and I feel as if she doesn;t understand why I see things certian ways, and I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I know no matter what no one is going to think the same, we all think different, and veiw things differently. But she just I guess couldnt understand why i felt the way i did with certian situations. No biggy though, were different people with different thoughts and opionions, and were entiled to our own.
Well I have not to much more to say today, and I have to start work in 10 minutes, so everyone.. keep your head up,a nd always strive to be the best you can be for you ! and keep it moving.
I stayed up late last night talking to my bestie abotu different situations in life, and I feel as if she doesn;t understand why I see things certian ways, and I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I know no matter what no one is going to think the same, we all think different, and veiw things differently. But she just I guess couldnt understand why i felt the way i did with certian situations. No biggy though, were different people with different thoughts and opionions, and were entiled to our own.
Well I have not to much more to say today, and I have to start work in 10 minutes, so everyone.. keep your head up,a nd always strive to be the best you can be for you ! and keep it moving.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Choices !
I have choosen for the time being.. I am going to be 20. I have had to grow up way to fast, and have jumped in to relationships that have been way over my head. I have a new direction in life now, and I need to focus on what really matters, and put everything else behind me.
I do not need a boyfriend right now, there too much work, and too much of a headache, that I do not need right now. I need to create a path for my road I am traveling on, and I do not need anything or anyone who is going to block my road, but yet only help me build it.
I have great friends, and great family, and Right now I feel like they are all I need. and I am cool with that. I guess That is about it for today. I am too ready for JAN 1 2011 ! IM READY ! (in my spongebob voice) :)
I do not need a boyfriend right now, there too much work, and too much of a headache, that I do not need right now. I need to create a path for my road I am traveling on, and I do not need anything or anyone who is going to block my road, but yet only help me build it.
I have great friends, and great family, and Right now I feel like they are all I need. and I am cool with that. I guess That is about it for today. I am too ready for JAN 1 2011 ! IM READY ! (in my spongebob voice) :)
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